How Do You Make Friends as an Adult? How Friendships Change Over Time? How Do You Develop a Healthy Friendship? These are some of the questions that I’ve got inside my mind when I met few people that I may and will considered as my real true friends.
Friendship is the gift that keeps on giving, which is why it can feel so utterly demoralizing when it is not forthcoming.
I met new set of friends from books I read, movies I watched and crafts that I love to do. (Thanks to Jabam for building this companionship) We get to know better day by day and sometimes they keep me awake at night. When I have problems and trying to solve it, they are there seated on a round table with beer and great foods on the center. They never fail to give me the right message.
More to that, we shared each other our personal goals and dreams. We bullied and make fun with each other. I define them as the people who pushes me to become better and aide me when I need them. I trust them and I believe they have my best interest in mind.
Few months ago, I experienced a major emotional trauma and I tried to hold some deep hurt within my unconscious mind. Feeling lonely and the Loneliness was pretty unbearable . It seems that there’s no one I can call a true friend.
Fast forward to this date, I tried not to stay in touch with the group. I tried to examine some possible situations what are the things I can do without them.Because I could not confide them about my situation for the fear of adding emotional burden to them. I even blocked or preventing new friendships from forming. I gave blunt replies and neglected them to make any attempts at prolonging the discussion.
And since I have no one to seek counsel with, I opened myself to more room for learning. I’ve been focusing my digital career, I read books more than I ever did in my entire existence. – But this situation gave a limited perspective.
But why I did this? Maybe because I have been let down with many people from the past or I am desperately trying to prevent that same feeling of hurt from happening again? I’m afraid of betrayal or disappointments? Or I just want an independence and self preservation in which I don’t want to rely on other people (Goaliath)- including friendship or fun? .Lastly, maybe I have some unresolved personal issues.
From that moment of not communicating them, I miss the feeling of being invited to eat outside. I miss the small chit chats. I miss the feeling of having friends.
BUT A SURPRISING THING HAPPENED TO ME ON THIS DECISION
1. I Realize That No One Can Motivate Me Better Than Myself!
As a human, we sometimes look for other’s approval before we commit ourselves to something. Personally, I always look for encouragement from others like my friends to evaluate if I am heading to the right path even though we don’t know what the outcome would be.
But because of what I did, I realized that I have to follow my intuition. If there’s something that I desire that does not violate the law of God and nature, Go for it! I need to hear my own without asking to someone else’s approval.
2. I Got To Know More About My Weakness and Strengths.
When I am surrounded by people who are always willing to help me, it makes me rely on them so much. But when I have no one to ask for help, it opens new areas for learning.
Since no one is there to help me. I had to turn my weaknesses into strengths. I discovered myself and it gives me the chance to know myself even further. – It is a time to create myself.
3. I Learned Anything What My Heart Desires
Everything in life has a purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us has a purpose.
I learned how to get in touch with the silence within myself. I found out that I can learn anything if I have the determination and persistence to do it. I learned without guilt and courage to do something better without reservations.
4. I Have Stronger Faith Than Ever
Because of the emotional challenges, I learned how to look at on a positive side. It makes me believe that tomorrow is going to become better than today.- Everything happens for a reason.
When there is no one to cheer me around, it removes my doubts and fears of the unknown. It fuels my determination to soar higher than my current situation.
And what’s more surprising?
5. I DISCOVERED WHO MY REAL FRIENDS ARE ( and Who’s Just Pretending)
In this mechanical life, it’s difficult to know who your true friends are and who’s just pretending. Many people out there trained to put on a pleasant face ( they are called “plastic”) and then leave you as soon as the going gets tough.
More often than that, if you’re a successful person, others want to connect to you for selfish reasons. There are some people want to be in your company especially if you have a circle of friends with great bond. Essentialy, they want to use you.
Because of my decision, I discovered who are my real friends and toxic people in many unexpected ways.
#GOALIATH – These People Helped Me To Celebrate My Accomplishments
I didn’t expect that the people who are much closer to me are the people who are toxic.
I am the type of person who is very outgoing and sociable. I used to share both of my failures and success stories especially to the people I treated as real friends. But these so called “Real Friends” are the people who can’t find room in their hearts everytime I accomplished something.
Luckily, I found these unexpected beautiful creatures who lift me up and want me to shine!
#GOALIATH- They Listen And Support Me When I Feel Pain And Hardship.
We all have ups and downs but these people never leave me when I get through something tough. Through difficult time (unemployment) they are the only people who check in with me and ask “How Am I Doing”. They helped me to work through it and don’t want me to suffer alone.
#GOALIATH – They Challenge Me To Grow ( And Grow With Them)
I am so lucky to have these people in my life. They are the ones who motivate and inspire me to continue growing as a person. They call me up and point me out when I am not living into my values.
We expect the same level of LOVE and RESPECT other.
Through this reciprocity, we grow each together-no matter what factors impact our relationship.
What’s good about being with GOALIATH – We all have the same goal which is to make our friendship A LONG-TERM INVESTMENT.
Having friends is FUN, of course. Having someone to share happy moments with and someone to share a shed with. Having someone to laugh with the silliest jokes.
I am so thankful i did an experiment, it helped me to value the importance of friendship.
Learn how to value of giving and taking- Don’t be selfish!
If you want to gain friends, you should figure out how you might be standing in friendship. You have to address the issues you have uncovered.
Small things like this can build a strong bond together.
It takes time and determination to build those bonds of companionship, but once you have, the rewards are great.
Thank you guys for accepting me to be part of your life and letting me in into your humble hearts. I am very lucky to met you all guys. There’s nothing I could ask for more since you guys are the real people who truly love and care about me.
Nhagz, Angel, Charlton, Rocky and Robert”
“Jabam, Audie, Clifford and Berto”
-To more great stories to share with and memories to make-